Matter for what matters

"I used to be afraid of failing at the things that really mattered to me, now I'm more afraid of succeeding at things that don't matter. " - Bob Goff  Love Does

Losing the state football championship my senior year of high school was one of the most depressing, and at the moment, devastating moments of my life. Not only did I want to win, but I also did not want to be remembered as part of the team that didn't win because that was a big deal in my hometown. A red trophy does not seem to shine the same way a blue trophy does in the display case. As an 18 year old young man, this was a huge issue for me. I soon realized though, that nobody outside of that small southeastern New Mexico town really cared that much about our high school football team, at least not near as much as I had presumed. I apologize for the spoiler alert for those of you who live, breathe, and eat Artesia Bulldog football. 

This was just one of many lessons for me about what matters most in life. I also wanted to secure a nice income and have a career in physical therapy or sports medicine where I could somehow be connected to the sports industry. Now, I bring home an average salary and the closest I get to the field is when I go out and school some teenagers in a game of flag football. But hey, at least I'm playing on Sundays. 

I am guilty, like many others, of having a skewed view of God's plan for me. I want God to want for me what I want for me. I believe that what matters most to me, probably matters most to God. As a result of that, I have spent a lot of time and energy chasing after things only to find out they do not matter as much as I previously thought. My friend Stuart Hall recently said: "It doesn't really matter what you're living for unless what you're living for really matters." The apostle Paul put it this way in 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air.  No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." I don't want to come to the end of my days and realize I missed the prize. I don't want to earn the wrong paycheck. I don't want to live in the wrong place. I don't want to achieve the wrong accolade. I don't want to win the wrong trophy. 

Red trophies will not last. Blue trophies will not last. Much of what we long for will not last very long at all. What crown are you chasing that will not last? Live on purpose. Matter for what matters. 

Blurred Lines

I didn't watch the vma's on Sunday night, and honestly I don't think I ever have.  I realize that as a youth pastor that may mean I'm less "relevant" but that's a risk I'm willing to take. I have a two and a four year old that I am far more concerned about. I do watch a lot of news however and the few seconds of footage they have shown are more than enough to depict what was happening on stage that has everyone talking.

I have already read some great commentary from several people far wiser than I, and I can't say that I have anything profound to add to the conversation. I do think something is missing here though. Miley Cyrus has been the recipient of the brunt of the criticism the last couple of days and her actions were the most obvious and outrageous.  And while we can make apologies and excuses for her, at the end of the day those actions were hers and they were disgusting and inappropriate - but they were hers. She has to own what she did and her accountability is to God. This situation is a great reminder, however, that we should not take our cue from celebrities. They are human - they're going to drop the ball, and this is MTV we're talking about here not the Disney Channel.

What is intriguing to me is that Robin Thicke, Miley's co-performer that night has been seemingly left out of the conversation. Thicke's song "Blurred Lines" is one of the most popular songs of the summer. A quick google search of the lyrics to that song give us an idea of what is on this guy's mind. "You the hottest b**** in this place......The way you grab me, must wanna get nasty...." Those are just a small sampling.  This song is objectification of women at its worst. This man is 36, Miley Cyrus is 20. Think about this men, in almost any other arena, a girl sixteen years your junior does to you what Miley did to him in that video and you're probably going straight to jail. Nevermind the fact that Thicke is married with a three year old son. Did he miss the rehearsal for this, or did he just not care? Appropriate or not, Miley was playing out the role of the girl that Thicke is describing in this song - a good girl gone bad.

I'm not advocating that we grab some more stones to throw at Robin Thicke. If we were to pick apart the vma's we would see a large amount of glorification of sin. Taylor Swift apparently dropped the f-bomb when cameras panned to her while One Direction was on stage, and one can safely assume any time Lady Gaga and Katy Perry take the stage they are probably not dressed in a modest manner. None of that is the point. The point is, the lines are blurred for what is and is not acceptable in our society. Should we be concerned about what Miley Cyrus did Sunday night? Absolutely! Should we also be concerned that an artist can lyrically paint a picture of a woman as an animal that must be domesticated, shoot a video about it with scantily clad girls, and do it all in the name of a catchy tune? Why are we not?

In Matthew 12:34 Jesus says "out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks". This is not just a lyrics issue, it's a heart issue. And men, especially young men, if you're reading this I would encourage you to delete every song on your ipod that includes the word b*tch. The more times you hear that, the more numb you become to that idea.  And women, especially young women, I would encourage you to do the same thing. You are not an animal. You do not need to be domesticated. You were not designed to be what that 20 year old girl was on stage at the vma's.  You are a daughter of the King.

The sobering news for all of us is that we are just as jacked up as Miley Cyrus, Robin Thicke, and the MTV executives that gave the go ahead for this fiasco. But God wants to redeem us all. Our past does not have to define us. That's why these artists need our prayer support more than our monetary support. Society may have blurred lines about what is most important, but God has drawn a line in the sand.

Stuff Pastors Can't Say

Last Sunday morning, I told our students we were going to have an ice cream bar on Wednesday night. I caught myself afterward and changed it to "ice cream buffet" just in case some kid went home and told their parents there would be a bar at church. Yesterday I posted an update on facebook about my 2 year old son landing on my crotch on the trampoline. My friend and fellow pastor asked if a pastor was allowed to use the word "crotch" on facebook. And finally just this morning a well known communicator and writer posted a tweet with the phrase "piss you off" in it. All of these incidents, in addition to the fact that I'm in the middle of a sermon series called "Words", got me thinking about what words you can and cannot say if you work at a church.

I'm not a cusser. I used to be. I'm not even much of a closet cusser, although if I injure myself badly enough one or two may sneak out. This isn't a post to judge those of you who do either, it's easy to learn to watch your mouth when there are a lot of other people watching it as well. Besides profanity, there are some other words that may seem harmless that ministers may not be allowed to say. Ministers are expected to put their speech through an extra filter that everyone else is seemingly exempt from. Upon ordination, ministers are gifted with an internal auto correct feature that descends upon them from heaven much like the flaming tongues at Pentecost. I just realized ministers aren't supposed to use the word flaming either, crap. Great, now I'm 0 for 2 on the last two sentences.

The funny thing is, if a preacher uses a word that's not on the pre-approved list (your church has one somewhere), people tend to remember it more than anything else he said. I think this is just as telling about the audience as it is the pastor. Now, by no means am I advocating being able to say whatever the heck you want from the pulpit and not be judged. We must measure our words carefully, especially during those times of preaching. But the fact remains, pastors are human and sometimes the words we use aren't necessarily bad in and of themselves they are just unexpected. So I've developed a short list of words pastors can't say without reservation, and some potential alternatives. This is nowhere near an exhaustive list, but at least it gets us started.

The no-nos:  crap, pissed, sucks, butt, crotch, hell* (unless it's in a verse - but even then proceed with caution), breasts (avoid Song of Solomon), shut up, and if you're reading from the King James try to replace the word 'ass' with donkey (your autocorrect should catch that), gay, and freaking.

The replacements: poop or doo-doo, ticked, stinks, hiney or rear or bottom, groin, hades or heck, chest, be quiet, donkey, dumb, and friggin' (I guess?).

There you go, a short list of things your minister isn't supposed to say. I know there's more - what are some others?

Not. So. With. You.

James and John had been running with Jesus for a while now and things were starting to get serious. If this guy really was who he said he was - and they were starting to think he was, then the future could be very bright for these former fishermen. If Jesus was the king that must mean He would be sitting on a throne ruling a kingdom, and there would be several high ranking positions that He would need to fill. So James and John did the manly thing when approaching Jesus about securing a job in His firm - they called their momma. In Matthew 20, Mrs. Of Zebedee shows up and asks Jesus for a favor. She wants her sons to sit at his right and his left in his kingdom. They were after all part of the inner circle of three that shared some special moments with Jesus. On paper, James and John were indeed two of the most qualified of the twelve. 

When the other ten disciples heard about it, they were ticked. This may or may not have been the first time a "your momma" joke was used. Not only had James and John displayed arrogance in thinking that they deserved the top two spots, the disciples were probably angry because James and John were clever enough to ask Jesus before anyone else could.  As they were arguing amongst themselves Jesus calls them together to teach them an important lesson. In verse 25 Jesus says: "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them." Then He drops a bomb on them. In four words Jesus completely ruins their career plans. "Not so with you." Apparently Jesus' plan for leadership was much different than the world's. He gave them an example of how everyone else was doing it and then said "That's not how it's going to work in my kingdom." Take everything you know about leadership, all the books you've read and seminars you've attended, and flush it down the toilet. 

Jesus was working His way down. James and John were trying to work their way up. Jesus was on His way to the cross, they were trying to get to the throne. They wanted to be first, Jesus told them they should be last. They wanted to be served, Jesus told them to be servants and slaves. 

It's easy to get hooked on the narcotic of success, rewards, compensation, and status in leadership. It's natural to want to move up the ladder the longer you have been on it. Jesus never called the disciples to be in a position, he called them to be a people. They would indeed hold important responsibilities after He was gone, but it wouldn't be glamourous. They were torn between their calling and their ache to be successful. We see one model displayed in the world and everyone follows that model. Work hard, move your way up, get money, get respect, arrive. Jesus flips this model on its head. 

If you want to be great in the kingdom that will last, you have to be last. If you want to climb high, you have to get low. If you want to look different from the rest of the world you have to live different. You have to serve. You have to give. You can't ride your momma's coattails to success. The world has proven if you will do things a certain way, you will get certain results. No so with you. 

Lazy hymn writers

I realize some may read that title, cry blasphemy, and claim that those who penned the beautiful hymns sang in many churches today were anything but lazy. I also realize that the level of grammar being presented in many of the current songs leaves a lot to be desired. I know these things. I work with teenagers, and I fear for the future of the English language. As much as we would like to blame them, I think this problem has been going on for a while. This startling revelation was confirmed to me on my wedding night of all times.  

I had long wondered why hymn authors (in the spirit of poor grammar I'm going to call them "hymnists" henceforth) often took letters out of words in an apparent attempt to change the pronunciation. I thought maybe these were typos that nobody caught and eventually just became tradition in the church. But on that cool December night in a classroom in the basement of my home church, there it was. I literally saw the writing on the wall. I was drawing up a "play" for the groomsmen and myself on how we would make our glamorous entry into the church. Some of the guys obviously hadn't read the playbook, otherwise I would not have had to cover such basic information. Anyway, the room we were in was also used for the choir and on the whiteboard next to my x's and o's were some instructional notes from the music minister. Here is a picture of poor quality of what that looked like:

Turns out heaven is not heaven, but instead it is heav'n. If you have sang very many hymns you have seen this pattern before. Perhaps the most popular is pow'r, as in "there is pow'r in the blood." Other examples include: o'er, 'tis, and one of my favorites sanct'ry. You can write a four verse song but you are too lazy to include that extra 'e' in there? Ok, so they are trying to change the pronunciation and emphasize a word. I say get o'er yourself. There is pow'r in proper spelling and pronunciation believe it or not. Unfortunately, all of those hymnists are probably sitting around in heav'n and could care less about the slang bombs they dropped into your worship service. Are there others that I have missed? Let me know in the comments below. 

Grand Expectations

One week ago today my family and I stood and marveled at one of the greatest wonders in our nation. And by marveled I mean Chelsea and I were amazed, Avery was ready to go to the hotel, and Cason was plotting his escape from the evil umbrella stroller. I have always wanted to visit the Grand Canyon and since we were going to Arizona on vacation this summer it made sense for us to go there. I always envisioned it as a huge hole out in the middle of the desert, but was pleasantly surprised by the amount of trees in the area as we drove up. As I watched the miles decrease on the gps, I kept  thinking I would be able to see the canyon at some point but I never did. I was beginning to wonder if it really existed or if we had missed a turn somewhere. My patience was further tested when we arrived at the visitor center and could not find a parking space. It is in moments like these I often take off my youth pastor hat and put on my "I'm on a rampage so move your stupid car hat." It fits a little tight, but needless to say we lucked out and found a spot. I still could not see the Grand Canyon though.

My anticipation built with every step, we were almost there.....but then one of the kids had to go to the bathroom so I had to wait another ten minutes because everyone else's kid was suffering the same plight. I will never forget the moment we finally walked up to the rails and looked out across the vast beautiful space below us. If you have ever visited the Grand Canyon, you know exactly what I am talking about. Pictures are cool, but they come nowhere near doing it justice. It was such a breathtaking view, you just wanted to stand and stare for a while. The experience was worth the wait. The hole lived up to the hype, and in fact it was so much better than I expected. I look forward to returning someday when the kids are older and national parks are cooler than hotels.

Later that week I heard comedian Michael Jr. say something at the Willow Creek Leadership Summit that really brought my experience into perspective. He was talking about doing stand-up at a prison and not knowing what he was going to say until the moment he stepped up to the microphone. He said "I didn't know what I was going to say, until my feet got where they needed to be." Four days before that I did not know what I was going to see, until my feet got where they needed to be. Once I reached that spot, I experienced something incredible and unforgettable.

I believe God holds great things in store for each of us - a hope and a future as only He has promised. I have a terrible time waiting to see those things come to pass. I want to see it all right now! But at just the right time, when my feet are finally standing where I am supposed to be - I see. Take hope in God's perfect timing and God's perfect provision. You may not be able to see your destination yet, but if you keep going you will. It will be better than you could have ever expected, and will always be worth the wait.

Preach Like a Champion Today

Notre Dame has a sign in their locker room that players touch before going out on the field. It says: "Play like a champion today."I keep waiting for someone to make or buy me a sign like this to slap every time I'm walking on stage to preach:

This is just the start mind you, I'm hoping one day it will become mandatory for churches to build locker rooms adjacent to the sanctuary. Should they also include a trainer to tape ankles before the big game, I mean, sermon? Absolutely - I've seen many pastors suffer both in and out of season ending injuries during a message. Why risk it?  And while we're at it, why not throw in some pre-game introductions with pyrotechnics and a receiving line full of deacons giving high fives. Is it too much to ask to show up on Sunday morning in church issued sweats and be able to change into my uniform or suit that just so happens to be hanging in a locker with my name on it while listening to some inspirational tunes on my beats headphones (someone is going to have to buy those as well). You may ask, is this biblical? And to that I would say, is your holier than thou dream crusher attitude biblical? Alright then. 

What would you add if you could add a locker room to your church? And yes, my birthday is next month so please feel free to buy this sign for me.