Blurred Lines

I didn't watch the vma's on Sunday night, and honestly I don't think I ever have.  I realize that as a youth pastor that may mean I'm less "relevant" but that's a risk I'm willing to take. I have a two and a four year old that I am far more concerned about. I do watch a lot of news however and the few seconds of footage they have shown are more than enough to depict what was happening on stage that has everyone talking.

I have already read some great commentary from several people far wiser than I, and I can't say that I have anything profound to add to the conversation. I do think something is missing here though. Miley Cyrus has been the recipient of the brunt of the criticism the last couple of days and her actions were the most obvious and outrageous.  And while we can make apologies and excuses for her, at the end of the day those actions were hers and they were disgusting and inappropriate - but they were hers. She has to own what she did and her accountability is to God. This situation is a great reminder, however, that we should not take our cue from celebrities. They are human - they're going to drop the ball, and this is MTV we're talking about here not the Disney Channel.

What is intriguing to me is that Robin Thicke, Miley's co-performer that night has been seemingly left out of the conversation. Thicke's song "Blurred Lines" is one of the most popular songs of the summer. A quick google search of the lyrics to that song give us an idea of what is on this guy's mind. "You the hottest b**** in this place......The way you grab me, must wanna get nasty...." Those are just a small sampling.  This song is objectification of women at its worst. This man is 36, Miley Cyrus is 20. Think about this men, in almost any other arena, a girl sixteen years your junior does to you what Miley did to him in that video and you're probably going straight to jail. Nevermind the fact that Thicke is married with a three year old son. Did he miss the rehearsal for this, or did he just not care? Appropriate or not, Miley was playing out the role of the girl that Thicke is describing in this song - a good girl gone bad.

I'm not advocating that we grab some more stones to throw at Robin Thicke. If we were to pick apart the vma's we would see a large amount of glorification of sin. Taylor Swift apparently dropped the f-bomb when cameras panned to her while One Direction was on stage, and one can safely assume any time Lady Gaga and Katy Perry take the stage they are probably not dressed in a modest manner. None of that is the point. The point is, the lines are blurred for what is and is not acceptable in our society. Should we be concerned about what Miley Cyrus did Sunday night? Absolutely! Should we also be concerned that an artist can lyrically paint a picture of a woman as an animal that must be domesticated, shoot a video about it with scantily clad girls, and do it all in the name of a catchy tune? Why are we not?

In Matthew 12:34 Jesus says "out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks". This is not just a lyrics issue, it's a heart issue. And men, especially young men, if you're reading this I would encourage you to delete every song on your ipod that includes the word b*tch. The more times you hear that, the more numb you become to that idea.  And women, especially young women, I would encourage you to do the same thing. You are not an animal. You do not need to be domesticated. You were not designed to be what that 20 year old girl was on stage at the vma's.  You are a daughter of the King.

The sobering news for all of us is that we are just as jacked up as Miley Cyrus, Robin Thicke, and the MTV executives that gave the go ahead for this fiasco. But God wants to redeem us all. Our past does not have to define us. That's why these artists need our prayer support more than our monetary support. Society may have blurred lines about what is most important, but God has drawn a line in the sand.

Stuff Pastors Can't Say

Last Sunday morning, I told our students we were going to have an ice cream bar on Wednesday night. I caught myself afterward and changed it to "ice cream buffet" just in case some kid went home and told their parents there would be a bar at church. Yesterday I posted an update on facebook about my 2 year old son landing on my crotch on the trampoline. My friend and fellow pastor asked if a pastor was allowed to use the word "crotch" on facebook. And finally just this morning a well known communicator and writer posted a tweet with the phrase "piss you off" in it. All of these incidents, in addition to the fact that I'm in the middle of a sermon series called "Words", got me thinking about what words you can and cannot say if you work at a church.

I'm not a cusser. I used to be. I'm not even much of a closet cusser, although if I injure myself badly enough one or two may sneak out. This isn't a post to judge those of you who do either, it's easy to learn to watch your mouth when there are a lot of other people watching it as well. Besides profanity, there are some other words that may seem harmless that ministers may not be allowed to say. Ministers are expected to put their speech through an extra filter that everyone else is seemingly exempt from. Upon ordination, ministers are gifted with an internal auto correct feature that descends upon them from heaven much like the flaming tongues at Pentecost. I just realized ministers aren't supposed to use the word flaming either, crap. Great, now I'm 0 for 2 on the last two sentences.

The funny thing is, if a preacher uses a word that's not on the pre-approved list (your church has one somewhere), people tend to remember it more than anything else he said. I think this is just as telling about the audience as it is the pastor. Now, by no means am I advocating being able to say whatever the heck you want from the pulpit and not be judged. We must measure our words carefully, especially during those times of preaching. But the fact remains, pastors are human and sometimes the words we use aren't necessarily bad in and of themselves they are just unexpected. So I've developed a short list of words pastors can't say without reservation, and some potential alternatives. This is nowhere near an exhaustive list, but at least it gets us started.

The no-nos:  crap, pissed, sucks, butt, crotch, hell* (unless it's in a verse - but even then proceed with caution), breasts (avoid Song of Solomon), shut up, and if you're reading from the King James try to replace the word 'ass' with donkey (your autocorrect should catch that), gay, and freaking.

The replacements: poop or doo-doo, ticked, stinks, hiney or rear or bottom, groin, hades or heck, chest, be quiet, donkey, dumb, and friggin' (I guess?).

There you go, a short list of things your minister isn't supposed to say. I know there's more - what are some others?

Not. So. With. You.

James and John had been running with Jesus for a while now and things were starting to get serious. If this guy really was who he said he was - and they were starting to think he was, then the future could be very bright for these former fishermen. If Jesus was the king that must mean He would be sitting on a throne ruling a kingdom, and there would be several high ranking positions that He would need to fill. So James and John did the manly thing when approaching Jesus about securing a job in His firm - they called their momma. In Matthew 20, Mrs. Of Zebedee shows up and asks Jesus for a favor. She wants her sons to sit at his right and his left in his kingdom. They were after all part of the inner circle of three that shared some special moments with Jesus. On paper, James and John were indeed two of the most qualified of the twelve. 

When the other ten disciples heard about it, they were ticked. This may or may not have been the first time a "your momma" joke was used. Not only had James and John displayed arrogance in thinking that they deserved the top two spots, the disciples were probably angry because James and John were clever enough to ask Jesus before anyone else could.  As they were arguing amongst themselves Jesus calls them together to teach them an important lesson. In verse 25 Jesus says: "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them." Then He drops a bomb on them. In four words Jesus completely ruins their career plans. "Not so with you." Apparently Jesus' plan for leadership was much different than the world's. He gave them an example of how everyone else was doing it and then said "That's not how it's going to work in my kingdom." Take everything you know about leadership, all the books you've read and seminars you've attended, and flush it down the toilet. 

Jesus was working His way down. James and John were trying to work their way up. Jesus was on His way to the cross, they were trying to get to the throne. They wanted to be first, Jesus told them they should be last. They wanted to be served, Jesus told them to be servants and slaves. 

It's easy to get hooked on the narcotic of success, rewards, compensation, and status in leadership. It's natural to want to move up the ladder the longer you have been on it. Jesus never called the disciples to be in a position, he called them to be a people. They would indeed hold important responsibilities after He was gone, but it wouldn't be glamourous. They were torn between their calling and their ache to be successful. We see one model displayed in the world and everyone follows that model. Work hard, move your way up, get money, get respect, arrive. Jesus flips this model on its head. 

If you want to be great in the kingdom that will last, you have to be last. If you want to climb high, you have to get low. If you want to look different from the rest of the world you have to live different. You have to serve. You have to give. You can't ride your momma's coattails to success. The world has proven if you will do things a certain way, you will get certain results. No so with you. 

Lazy hymn writers

I realize some may read that title, cry blasphemy, and claim that those who penned the beautiful hymns sang in many churches today were anything but lazy. I also realize that the level of grammar being presented in many of the current songs leaves a lot to be desired. I know these things. I work with teenagers, and I fear for the future of the English language. As much as we would like to blame them, I think this problem has been going on for a while. This startling revelation was confirmed to me on my wedding night of all times.  

I had long wondered why hymn authors (in the spirit of poor grammar I'm going to call them "hymnists" henceforth) often took letters out of words in an apparent attempt to change the pronunciation. I thought maybe these were typos that nobody caught and eventually just became tradition in the church. But on that cool December night in a classroom in the basement of my home church, there it was. I literally saw the writing on the wall. I was drawing up a "play" for the groomsmen and myself on how we would make our glamorous entry into the church. Some of the guys obviously hadn't read the playbook, otherwise I would not have had to cover such basic information. Anyway, the room we were in was also used for the choir and on the whiteboard next to my x's and o's were some instructional notes from the music minister. Here is a picture of poor quality of what that looked like:

Turns out heaven is not heaven, but instead it is heav'n. If you have sang very many hymns you have seen this pattern before. Perhaps the most popular is pow'r, as in "there is pow'r in the blood." Other examples include: o'er, 'tis, and one of my favorites sanct'ry. You can write a four verse song but you are too lazy to include that extra 'e' in there? Ok, so they are trying to change the pronunciation and emphasize a word. I say get o'er yourself. There is pow'r in proper spelling and pronunciation believe it or not. Unfortunately, all of those hymnists are probably sitting around in heav'n and could care less about the slang bombs they dropped into your worship service. Are there others that I have missed? Let me know in the comments below. 

Grand Expectations

One week ago today my family and I stood and marveled at one of the greatest wonders in our nation. And by marveled I mean Chelsea and I were amazed, Avery was ready to go to the hotel, and Cason was plotting his escape from the evil umbrella stroller. I have always wanted to visit the Grand Canyon and since we were going to Arizona on vacation this summer it made sense for us to go there. I always envisioned it as a huge hole out in the middle of the desert, but was pleasantly surprised by the amount of trees in the area as we drove up. As I watched the miles decrease on the gps, I kept  thinking I would be able to see the canyon at some point but I never did. I was beginning to wonder if it really existed or if we had missed a turn somewhere. My patience was further tested when we arrived at the visitor center and could not find a parking space. It is in moments like these I often take off my youth pastor hat and put on my "I'm on a rampage so move your stupid car hat." It fits a little tight, but needless to say we lucked out and found a spot. I still could not see the Grand Canyon though.

My anticipation built with every step, we were almost there.....but then one of the kids had to go to the bathroom so I had to wait another ten minutes because everyone else's kid was suffering the same plight. I will never forget the moment we finally walked up to the rails and looked out across the vast beautiful space below us. If you have ever visited the Grand Canyon, you know exactly what I am talking about. Pictures are cool, but they come nowhere near doing it justice. It was such a breathtaking view, you just wanted to stand and stare for a while. The experience was worth the wait. The hole lived up to the hype, and in fact it was so much better than I expected. I look forward to returning someday when the kids are older and national parks are cooler than hotels.

Later that week I heard comedian Michael Jr. say something at the Willow Creek Leadership Summit that really brought my experience into perspective. He was talking about doing stand-up at a prison and not knowing what he was going to say until the moment he stepped up to the microphone. He said "I didn't know what I was going to say, until my feet got where they needed to be." Four days before that I did not know what I was going to see, until my feet got where they needed to be. Once I reached that spot, I experienced something incredible and unforgettable.

I believe God holds great things in store for each of us - a hope and a future as only He has promised. I have a terrible time waiting to see those things come to pass. I want to see it all right now! But at just the right time, when my feet are finally standing where I am supposed to be - I see. Take hope in God's perfect timing and God's perfect provision. You may not be able to see your destination yet, but if you keep going you will. It will be better than you could have ever expected, and will always be worth the wait.

Preach Like a Champion Today

Notre Dame has a sign in their locker room that players touch before going out on the field. It says: "Play like a champion today."I keep waiting for someone to make or buy me a sign like this to slap every time I'm walking on stage to preach:

This is just the start mind you, I'm hoping one day it will become mandatory for churches to build locker rooms adjacent to the sanctuary. Should they also include a trainer to tape ankles before the big game, I mean, sermon? Absolutely - I've seen many pastors suffer both in and out of season ending injuries during a message. Why risk it?  And while we're at it, why not throw in some pre-game introductions with pyrotechnics and a receiving line full of deacons giving high fives. Is it too much to ask to show up on Sunday morning in church issued sweats and be able to change into my uniform or suit that just so happens to be hanging in a locker with my name on it while listening to some inspirational tunes on my beats headphones (someone is going to have to buy those as well). You may ask, is this biblical? And to that I would say, is your holier than thou dream crusher attitude biblical? Alright then. 

What would you add if you could add a locker room to your church? And yes, my birthday is next month so please feel free to buy this sign for me. 

Scoreboard

I recently began reading "The Real Win" by Colt McCoy and Matt Carter. Matt Carter is the founding pastor of Austin Stone Community Church, and Colt McCoy is an NFL quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers.  McCoy was actually born in Hobbs, New Mexico but he grew up in Texas and played football at the University of Texas in Austin. I was there to witness one of his most unforgettable games, albeit for different reasons for the Longhorns. In the book he mentions two of his dreams were to win the national championship and to win the Heisman trophy. He was well on his way to doing both of those things when his team faced Texas Tech in Lubbock on November 1, 2008. Tech led most of the game, but with 89 seconds left to go Texas pulled ahead 33-32. Tech drove the ball down the field quickly, but the game would have been over in one play had Longhorn Blake Gideon not dropped an interception. It's difficult to capture the excitement of what happened next so instead here is what it looked like.

The agony inside of Jones AT&T Stadium turned to ecstasy in one fell swoop. That moment remains the biggest and perhaps the best in Texas Tech football history.  And while thousands of Red Raiders celebrated wildly, one young man stood on the sidelines in disbelief and disappointment. I honestly had never thought about McCoy's reaction much since then until I read this book, but it reminded me that sometimes the most exciting moment for one person can simultaneously be the most devastating for another.  Now don't get me wrong, at the end of the day I am still a Red Raider and I still love that moment, particularly because it was the Longhorns and wins are hard to come by against them. It was the coolest sporting event that I have ever witnessed hands down. One of the ways many people have commemorated this win is with a picture of the scoreboard from that night. 

Up until there was one second left, Tech was on the short end of that scoreboard and it felt as though victory had once again eluded us despite our best efforts. 

I have to be honest, sometimes following Christ feels the same way. There are days when it feels like we are losing. I am pretty sure the scoreboard isn't reading in our favor at this moment in history. There are times when I pray and wonder if God was even paying attention, and who could blame Him if He wasn't because I am a selfish jerk who often refuses to acknowledge Him. I have felt deflated and defeated, and many times that is because of fellow believers in Christ. I think "friendly fire" hurts worse than evil enemy attacks. I believe there are many who feel that church is boring, irrelevant, unnecessary, and a waste of time. Those people make me feel like my job is worthless as well. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 1:18 that the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing but to those who are being saved it is the power of God. Following Christ means that you have to be willing to lose for a while. You may not be welcomed with open arms by your friends, family, or coworkers. You may be seen as weak, foolish, or pathetic. You may be a thought of as a boring person. People may treat you different - they may treat you like you are a loser. After all, the scoreboard says so right?

Last year I preached on a verse that keeps coming up in my life. In John 16:33 Jesus says: "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." In other words, the scoreboard will change. Victory will come, and while it may seem like it happens with one second left, we can rest in its certainty because Christ is the one who will deliver it. I will continue to embrace our underdog role as followers of Christ. Are you willing to lose, so that you can win? 

Things you can and cannot do in a Satellite Church

Next weekend several of our staff and a few church members will attend a simulcast of the Willow Creek Global Leadership Summit. It is always an interesting experience for me. The conference itself is always great, but the simulcast environment is intriguing to me. The church that hosts it does an incredible job, but there are some things that feel a bit awkward when you are not part of the live audience. For instance, over the past few years that have been times where several of the people in the simulcast audience gave the speaker a standing ovation. Of course I gave in to peer pressure and stood up alongside them in those moments. After all, I did not want anyone to judge me for my apparent lack of holiness. I did wonder though, why in the world we were standing up applauding a giant screen. This got me thinking about satellite church campuses. Before you think I'm bashing multi-site churches and satellite locations just slow your holy roll. I prefer to poke fun at any and all churches, including my own so sit back, relax, and see if you can relate to any of these thoughts.

There are some things you can do in a satellite location that you would never consider doing if you were at the main campus where the pastor is live. For example, you can make funny faces at the preacher and he will never know. You don't have to go into stealth mode when checking your facebook app or making your next move in Words with Friends. If you walk in late who cares, the pastor did not see you and you still get credit for being there right? Need to sneeze or let one go? No problem, the pastor will preach on without missing a beat. Worried about missing the big game? Bring along your iPad or better yet just set up another screen with a video feed of the football game. This way you kill two birds with one stone - three if your team happens to be playing the Ravens, Falcons, Cardinals, Eagles, or Seahawks.

There are also some things that you can't do if you are via satellite. If you want to talk to the preacher after the service is over, you cannot just walk down front or catch him on the way out the door. If you enjoy shouting "Amen" during the sermon - go for it, just don't expect to get a response. Need the pastor to announce that potluck your small group is having - forget about it. When the pastor asks you to raise your hand he is lying if he says he can see your hands raised. And when he refers to "this place" does he mean "this place" or is he talking about this place? If the techie forgets the wireless password or there is an equipment malfunction you better hope the rapture doesn't happen today. And perhaps the worst, if you are lucky enough to have a pastor who gives away free stuff from the stage I don't care how good his arm is he will never be able to reach your seat.

What are some other pros and cons to attending a church or a conference via satellite feed as opposed to being in the live audience.